I will think of a better name for this blog one of these days.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Flight back from NY

I believe Ang Lee took the same flight as me, but i'm not 100% sure it was him. I only briefly saw a person that looked like him and his small entourage of people being escorted by China Airlines staff past the mass of people anxiously waiting in line to be stuffed into the economy section.

Side note: Why are people always in such a rush to get in the airplane? First of all, the last time I checked everyone has assigned seating. Secondly, it's an 18 hour flight. . . or 18 hour 10 minute flight for those lucky people that got on line early. . . way to go! 10 free minutes!

I thought I lucked out when I checked in, I got the last window seat available. After I get to my seat this chubby 10 or 11 year old kid wearing a straw cowboy hat, black t-shirt, shorts, and orange crocs shoes sits next to me. His parents nowhere to be found. Great!

He had the worst case of ADD imaginable. I'm not kidding, he couldn't sit still for 2 seconds.
I had to tell him twice to stop bumping his elbow into me and stop shaking the seat. While we were waiting to takeoff he was simultaneously watching the safety video, looking out the window, and flipping through the airline magazine. He'd look at the TV for one second then out the window for one second then back to TV then to magazine then to window then to TV etc etc etc. . . And when I say flipping through the magazine I mean strictly flipping through the magazine, he didn't even look at most of the pages before he flipped to the next page.

At this point, I'm thinking, this is going to be a long flight. That's when he looked around for a second and then put his hand down his pants and scratched/grabbed/molested his private parts. That's not the worst of it, right afterwards he'd pick his nose with the same hand and bite his nails.

That was it. . . GAME OVER. I'm out. I'm not sitting with this kid for 18 hours.

This kid had absolutely no clue on what socially acceptable behavior is. What kind of parents don't teach their children how to behave in public? Then I thought probably the same kind that lets their 10 year old boy go on international flights alone with no adult supervision.

He played the testicle tug game two or three more times before the fasten seat belt light finally went out and I jumped to first empty seat I could find.

Then I started thinking, maybe this kid is really clever and he did this on purpose so he could get both seats all to himself.

Nope, when I looked back from my new seat a few minutes later the ADD kid was still ADD kid. The guy sitting directly in front of ADD kid had a really annoyed look on his face. Everytime the ADD kid moved or got up from his seat he'd shake the seat in front. So basically every 30 seconds. Good luck trying to sleep. . . hahahaha sucker, I got the last empty seat!

The rest of the 18 hour flight was uneventful, watched some crappy movies, food was pretty bad as usual, but the time passed by surprisingly quickly.

Was nice coming back to Taipei.

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